love me forever, love me today
by sirrryesssirrr
Summary: An engagement and two brides. Brittany/Santana. Fluff. Femslash.


__Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.

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_I sometimes have feelings and they make no sense or they make too much sense, but they're real and they're genuine. They're also pretty scary. And they're there because you're there. But they've been nothing but good for me like you've been nothing but good to me. And I thought it hurt in the beginning, but that's because I didn't know you had to work so hard for things that mattered._

You stand in the faint light of dusk, staring at yourself in the mirror in only your underwear and a red scarf lazily draped over your shoulders. Goosebumps trail across your arms, legs, neck. You let your fingers hover above the risen hair on your arm. This is it. You look at yourself some more before clutching your forearm with your hand. You take a deep breath and you close your eyes. When you open them, you're still in front of your mirror, half naked, and scared out of your mind.

Today is the day.

You never thought this day would ever come, let alone with the one person you've ever wanted. You let out a shaky breath and you stand up straighter in front of your mirror, your wildly beating heart calming down just a smidgeon. You're still scared out of your mind but it's never been more okay until now.

Because today is the day she becomes yours, and you become hers.

_I can't cook and I get the wrong ingredients for dinner, but I can wash the dishes and I can brush your hair behind your ears. And I think I'm funny enough that you can just laugh at me and I won't mind. But I hope you'd rather laugh with me because your laugh is just so beautiful._

They agree to not see each other until they got to the altar.

It's Brittany's greatest idea. Everyone, like Rachel, thinks it's so romantic and a perfect story to tell to the guests. But it's really for Brittany's sanity and well being. She doesn't know if she'd be able to catch her breath a second time around. She may have been athletic in high school and college, but Santana has always left her a little bit breathless and no amount of catching up can ever get those stolen breaths back.

They said their goodbyes the previous night after the rehearsal dinner. They walked off the dessert all the way back to Santana's apartment building where Brittany dropped her off.

"Thanks for walking me home."

Brittany smiled and kissed her on the cheek, their hands never separating.

"Don't get used to it. This is the last time I'll ever walk you home to a door that doesn't belong to me."

Santana laughed and pulled Brittany closer. Brittany knew of fewer things more beautiful than Santana's laugh.

"We don't have to sleep apart tonight, you know." It was Brittany's turn to laugh. She pulled Santana's hands up and kissed them before planting a chaste one on Santana's lips.

"Goodnight, San," she said as she loosened the red scarf around her neck and placed it over Santana's shoulders.

Brittany walked away with a playful smirk on her face before hailing a cab a couple of yards away. When she got inside, she mumbled an address and looked back at Santana clutching the scarf and smiling back. When she turned around on her seat, she inhaled a lungful of air to catch her breath. She was totally and completely smitten and in love.

_I'll tuck you in bed the way I never tucked myself in bed and it will always be just this side of warm and comforting because I've trained my arms to hold you for the night._

You take the scarf from your shoulders and you wrap it around you, holding the end with both hands. It still smells like her and you just want to smell nothing but faint traces of her for the rest of your life.

Your eyes are tired and your body's weak and you know this day is going to be the most trying one you've had in a long time. But you know that at the end of that tunnel is a white dress on the most beautiful woman you have ever laid your eyes on.

In twenty minutes, three people are going to call you to make sure you're up. And five minutes right after that, they're going to ring your doorbell and knock on your door and you know they will be obnoxious about all of it. You want to chain your door forever, but beyond that door is your beloved and you want nothing more than to get through today and leave for your honeymoon.

Besides, you're pretty sure that you don't want a door that isn't hers anyway.

_And then in the morning, you can take your time in the bathroom, I'll brush my teeth in the kitchen. But I know you're far too kind, and you pull your shirt that I'm wearing and we brush our teeth side by side. And you push me when you have to spit because you have to do things first. But you clean right up and the kiss on my cheek is a good consolation prize._

Rachel called her while she was in the cab and left three voicemails and fourteen text messages. She shook her head and figured that this was just Rachel being Rachel and she didn't have the energy to even get mad at her.

So she took the rest of the twenty minutes of that cab ride in silence save for the blaring traffic beyond those tinted windows.

When she got home, she automatically reached for her scarf and realized that she had given it away. She smiled and headed to her room.

Her nightly ritual was quieter than she expected and she traced the edges of the sink as she absentmindedly brushed her teeth, staring at the spare toothbrush left on the stand.

Tomorrow would be different. And the next day. Next week. Next month. Next year. Until she had dentures.

She wiped her face dry and smiled at her reflection.

"I do," she said back to herself, the sound of her voice echoing in her bathroom. "I do."

_There will be days when I come home late or you'll be cranky and we're just not jiving right that day. You're two steps too fast and I just don't want to keep up. But don't be too alarmed, this relationship is in a circle and I'll always come back to you. I'll bring by flowers. And sweet lady kisses._

You're not the most patient person in the world. Everyone in the hall can attest to that. You're trying to focus on what's most important but it's getting harder and harder when it's thirty minutes until you two are supposed to see each other for the first time since last night and things just doesn't seem like they're getting done.

When you can't hear yourself think, you finally stand and yell at everyone. They look at you like you're insane, but you don't even care. You glare back and tell them that this is your wedding day and that you can actually do anything you wanted.

You don't do anything, though, because you don't want to disappoint her. Not when you're this close. But you tell them to hurry up or she'll walk herself up the altar, everybody else be damned.

You sit back down and breathe calmly, holding onto her scarf sitting atop your vanity. You breathe in, out, in, out. You resume fixing your makeup and pay no mind to the people behind you. You're pretty sure that they're going the same pace they were before, but you've calmed a little bit and that's all that matters.

In thirty minutes, you're going to walk down the aisle and you'll see her waiting for you up there. You both wanted to go first but you relented when she told you that she didn't want all eyes on her when she saw you. She apologized for being selfish, but you shook your head and just kissed her back.

You make a vow to yourself that your wedding day is the last time she ever has to wait for you to be by her side.

_There will always be people against us and I think that's silly because who would want to go against an unstoppable force like you. You are lovely and you are my beloved. I only have two hands, but if you let me, I'd like to hold your hand in one and our future in the other._

She checked her emails and messages, and she finally responded to Rachel. But only after she received one more voicemail and two more texts.

When it was finally just Brittany, the bed she consistently complained for being too small felt far too big that night. Thoughts of people's doubts seeped in but she stopped herself. Tomorrow would be her wedding day and she would be married to the girl she knew she wanted to marry since she was eight years old.

She didn't know what relationships or commitment meant when she was younger. People told her what they were, but those never settled well with her because they pictured her with other people and she could not picture herself with anybody else but Santana. She still sometimes didn't have the hang of it, but she realized eventually that Santana was it for her.

Brittany plumped up Santana's pillow beside her and hugged it tightly, the scent of Santana's floral shampoo making the compromise of sleeping separately bearable.

_I won't make you marry me if you don't want to, but if you want to, then please do. Because there's a ring burning a hole in my pocket and it shines better if it's on your hand. And I've loved you from the beginning when you first said hi to me. And meant it. I may not be the first to be lucky enough to fall in love with you, but I'm lucky enough to make it this far, and there's still the horizon and I heard you liked flying. So, woman of my dreams and dreamer of my reality, hold my hand and kiss me sweet, because I'd like to be yours for as long as this world continues to exist._

You repeat the words back to yourself before you pull the veil above her face.

You may now kiss the bride.


End file.
